Jan. 4th, 2010


Jan. 4th, 2010 12:28 am
allie: (Default)
not much to report out here.

I feel like a compass at a magnetic pole, alternating between freezing in place and drowsily indicating nothing at all.

Vague entry is vague, but less emo than it sounds. I just wanted to let you guys know that I'm sorry I haven't been online for chatting or rp, but I'm not in any kind of mortal peril or painful emotional turmoil.

Many of you know how I feel about the slow loss of the ability to read maps in our culture, how I feel that it's dying art that's not just a hobby of mine but an almost symbolic act, which isn't the word I want to use but I can't find a better one. I'm far from a Luddite, obviously, and I've used google maps and, very very very rarely, GPS systems. But pulling over and unfolding a piece of paper almost too large to fit in my car, wrestling with it, finding the name of a city or town and tracing colored lines while I decide my course, makes me feel like I'm in control of my destiny yet also faithfully relying on the often countless and nameless people who first dreamed those lines, the people who built them and the people who charted them, who spread them before me on poorly refolded paper. Hours and years to give me the ability to choose which route to take to a particular destination, or the ability to find my way home.

You saw this coming from the first sentence of that paragraph, I'm sure, but I feel like I've pulled to the side of an empty road and opened a blank map.

a favor

Jan. 4th, 2010 03:55 pm
allie: (Default)
This isn't a meme/quiz, but a personal favor I'm asking to you. I need you to make checks on my johari and nohari charts.

It's not to satisfy my curiosity, though I'll admit I'm a bit curious. Really, I want to see how much of my own idea of self matches up with the self that others see, because otherwise, there's a good chance that I'm unaware of my own merits and shortcomings. I've been doing a lot of introspection, and one of the problems with introspection is that no one can see themselves from an outside point of view.

One thing is mostly positive, one is mostly negative, and all are entirely, utterly, completely anonymous. I know it can be hard to say bad things about your friends, even shielded by anonymity, but I need you to fill out both. My bad side is just as important as the good one.

Thanks in advance, if you can do this for me. I swear that it's not just for vanity or vanity's reverse...I need to know these things to help me recognize parts of myself that I might be otherwise blind to.

these are my brighter aspects, and these are my darker aspects.

eta: in case you don't feel like reading the thingy at the top of the johari/nohari pages, I've already picked the six things that I think apply to myself, so it's a matter of seeing the difference between my inner self and the self I communicate to others. What you give me is the ability to make a comparison, rather than a judgment that'll damage my self esteem or something.

eta2: I figured that using the johari method would make it as simple as possible, but if you'd like to explain why you chose what you did or use an adjective that's not exactly represented, I just enabled screening on anonymous comments (in case you don't want everyone else to see what you have to say). I'll unscreen your comment if you say that it's okay; I'm not screening for any reason other than to give privacy to anyone who might want to say something honest but worry about the reactions of others, etc.


allie: (Default)

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